Mark 14:32-42
All
of us have moments in our lives that we wish we could redo. Words spoken,
actions taken, hurt inflicted, sin accomplished. Sometimes those moments replay
in our minds, over and over again. Some become a living memorial to that
moment. They get triggered repeatedly in our lives by current events. In an
instant part of us is back there, experiencing that moment again. Some people
have recurring dreams. We might want to kick ourselves for making that mistake.
Unfortunately,
there isn’t a rewind button in life. Once it is done, it is done. We can’t go
back and undo it. Once the words leave your mouth, they can’t be retrieved.
Some
of the greatest regrets seem to happen before someone dies unexpectedly. The
argument that created distance or even angry words as the last words spoken.
The words that were never spoken, but that were deeply felt. The thank you, I
love you, I remember when…. These words not spoken can hold a large regret. The
slammed door, the look in their eyes, the yells over the phone, the nasty text
message right before they died.
I
am sure that the disciples, and especially Peter, James and John, regretted
their lack of attentiveness on that fateful evening. Jesus was in anguish
because He knew what lay ahead. He was, for the first time in His life, going
to carry the weight of sin. He had never sinned, so the feelings of regret,
shame, inadequacy, guilt, weakness, and unworthiness would be new experiences
for Him. He had seen the affects of sin in the faces of so many He had healed
and ministered to over His ministry. But now it was going to be His lot.
But
He wasn’t carrying the weight of His own sin. He had none. He was going to
carry the weight of every other human being, past, present and future. The mass
murderer, the rapist, the armed robber, the white liar. He would carry them
all.
And
He would feel alone. That’s right! For the first time in His life, He would be
alone. When the darkness came as He was hanging on the Cross, the Father withdrew
His palpable presence from the Son. He turned His back on the sin Jesus bore. Jesus
was alone.
Being
alone is one of the worst experiences one can have. Being alone can sap every
bit of hope from you. Jesus has taken His three closest disciples to be nearest
to Him while He faces His known future. He wants them to support Him as He
struggles. But they continue to let Him down. They give in to sleep. They ate
too much turkey at Thanksgiving. Too much to think about in the prediction
Jesus gave. They were all going to betray Him.
If
only we could live our lives in such a way that we didn’t accumulate regrets.
It would be nice to live with a clean slate. Oh, that’s right, we can! We can
choose to be obedient. We can slow down and make godly choices. We can minimize
the effects of sin by sinning less. We can choose our words wisely. We can be
slow to anger. Quick to listen. We can exercise patience with ourselves and
with others. We have choices. Use them wisely.