Several years ago I found an exercise that
helped me focus my energies in life. It was while I was working with very ill
hospital patients. If there is one thing terminal illness can do is to focus us
on what is really important. Patients and family members just want to say “I
love you” one more time. They want to weep in each other’s arms. They want to
arrive before the little green line goes flat.
The exercise I learned is to think about my
funeral and my gravestone. What do I want written there? What do I want other
people to take out of my life with them? What will be my legacy? Paul passed on
what was most important to him. The risen Jesus had changed his life. Nothing
was more important to him.
Paul served others. He led a life of
self-sacrifice and exceptional hardship. He did this so that other people would
experience the life he had found in Jesus. Verse nine points out his great
conflict. He used to kill Christians. Now he has become one. He received the
grace that changes a murderer into a humble servant of others. He excelled at
persecuting others. Now excels at allowing God’s grace to flow through him.
Notice that Paul says that God’s grace affected
him (v10). He states in a backward way “not without” effect which means “with”
effect. When we allow grace to have its effect, we change. But what changes and
what does that look like?
For Paul it meant he switched sides in the
battle raging within Judaism of his day. When grace works in our lives, we
might have to switch sides as well. Some of the political issues of our day are
grave moral issues, and might require a switching of sides when grace is
embraced and experienced.
But we might have to stitch sides in our
personal lives. We might have to stop battling with our spouse over things that
aren’t really important. We might have to become vulnerable with them, and
allow them “in”, perhaps for the first time. Some behaviors might have to go
into the “used to” category. I used to do drugs. I used to look at porn. I used
to use food for comfort. I used to insist on having my own way. I used to waste
my life pursuing success. I used to live for the moment with no thought about
the consequences. The “used to” category must be replaced with the “but now”
category.
When people talk about you at your funeral,
what will they say? Will they have to lie in order to say nice things? Or has
your life been transformed by grace? You get to decide.