Proverbs 17:1
I
talk with people every day who live with this proverb. Their homes are filled
with strife. Instead of being a place of sanctuary from the troubles of the
world, their homes are powder kegs, ready to explode, almost without warning.
They walk on eggshells.
This
lack of quietness, peace, tranquility has led to many a divorce. It is not that
the noise itself caused the divorce, but the noise was a symptom of the underlying
problems.
Most
couples who come in for counseling tell me they have communication problems. I
beg to differ. It is not that they have communication problems. They are communicating
just fine. But the way they are communicating is destructive. They share the
surface turmoil, not the ocean currents. They react in anger, but fear of losing
the relationship drives the storm. They don’t want to be alone, and yet they
feel alone.
I
have heard some people tell me they would give up all their stuff and live
under a bridge if they could just stop the fighting. Fighting wears you out,
physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. It can drain all your
resources, leaving little for other areas of life. And then all of life becomes
a struggle. Depression often follows.
I
want to encourage you. If you are having difficulty building a home that is a peaceful
refuge, get some godly counsel. Get in a church fellowship that preaches the
Word, challenges your faith, forces you to connect (or makes you uncomfortable
if you don’t), and reaches out into your community. Find a counselor with whom
you can have a conversation until you figure it out.