Proverbs 17:19
Have you noticed that some people just love to
fight? Almost every conversation ends up in some kind of heated discussion. Heat
can be OK in a discussion if, and that is a big if, things don’t get personal.
If heat is there and there are no personal jabs or hits, it can be OK. But too
often these types of discussion do get personal. But this wouldn’t necessarily
be a quarrel according to our text.
Our
proverb for today focuses on quarrels that create barriers between people. We
often talk about walls between people who don’t trust each other. Walls get
built to protect against further injury. This is the way God made us. We
protect ourselves after injury. This makes sense.
We
can also build walls to restrict access to our inner world. We don’t want
others to really get to know us. We sometimes feel that if they really knew us,
they would walk away in disgust. The reality is that we all are disgusting. We
are all sinners, the vilest sinners. We all fall short of God’s glory. But Jesus
chooses to work in and through us, permeating us with His grace. He takes the
worst and removes it, washing us with the Word. None of us needs to walk in
shame. His grace removes the shame and replaces it with humble thankfulness.
But
the problem arises when forget this. We are in conflict with someone and we forget
that we are people of grace, that we have received grace and therefore need to
exude grace ourselves. But this does not mean we need to allow injury
repeatedly to ourselves. But we don’t take a position of being better than they
are.
The
second half of our proverb makes this point. It speaks of building a high gate.
Gates restrict access. They do allow people in, but only at the owners bidding.
Gates can be good things. We allow helpful, safe people in and keep harmful,
unhealthy people out. We don’t let an abuser come in.
But
when we build a wall and a gate they can become a prison rather than a safe
haven. Instead of protecting, they isolate. We give the impression that we are
friendly. We have such a nice gate. But then when people approach, we speak to
them through the gate. We don’t open it and allow people into our lives. It
looks as though we have our life all together, but we really live in fear,
unable to reach beyond ourselves for fear of being discovered for what we
really are.
Isolation
leads to ruin. We need each other. We can’t live behind our self-imposed walls.
We will wither and die. We are called, every one of us, to bring the Gospel,
the Good News of Jesus to a dying world. So we either need to invite them in,
or we need to go out. And if we are quarrelsome or hidden behind a wall, we
aren’t accomplishing Mission One of the Christian life.