All
of us have moments in our lives that we wish we could rewind. Things done in
those moments are so embarrassing, so humiliating, so character revealing, that
we would do almost anything to rewind the tape and do something, anything else.
This is a common experience for us human beings. We make mistakes, choose the
wrong path, yield to sin. We have regrets, second guess, try again.
Sometimes
those rewind moments come and go without our notice. This time we say we are
sorry, or even better we don’t injure in the first place. We actually study for
the makeup test. We carry out our rehearsed moves with pinpoint accuracy. We
get it right. We rewind and it appears that the error has been corrected.
But
sometimes those rewind moments become part of the definition of who we are. We
become known as the guy who wore the lampshade. Or the gal who trailed the
toilet paper behind them down the hallway. For most of these labels, nicknames,
lose the power over time. They get replaced with other names, some of them even
positive names. We don’t mind the replacement. We just want to forget that
moment and pretend it never happened.
Peter
is hoping to undo what he had already done. He had insisted that he would never
deny Jesus. He felt, unlike the other disciples, that he would remain true to
Jesus no matter what happened. He was better than a betrayer. But in the
Garden, Peter had run away, just like all the others. What he had declared with
boldness just a few short hours earlier had slipped through his fingers. He was
just like all the others.
But
perhaps Peter wants to redeem himself. He follows the arresting band of
soldiers and guards, wanting to keep an eye on Jesus, to see what happens. He
could have stayed away. He could have gone into hiding. But he stays within
earshot of Jesus. He wants to make it right.
But
staying incognito isn’t as easy as Peter expects. Everything about Peter
screams “outsider.” His dress, mannerisms, and accent all tell the careful
observer, or even a not so observant servant girl, that he doesn’t belong.
But
it is more than that. This servant girl makes the connection between Peter and
Jesus. Here Peter is just trying to stay under the radar, and the fact that he
had been with Jesus kept setting off alarm bells. Something about Jesus had
rubbed off on Peter.
Is
there enough of Jesus in us to set of alarm bells?