Proverbs 14:16-17
Getting a handle on our anger can be
difficult process. I do know one thing, letting our anger control our behavior
can be very detrimental to our relationships and reputation as a
Jesus-follower. Anger can even destroy us.
There is a role for anger in our lives.
Anger is, after all, a God-given emotion. So many of us don’t know what place
anger should have in our lives because we have not seen it modeled for us by
those around us in a healthy manner. Anger seems to become a tornado, ripping
through our emotional neighborhoods.
In order to get control over our anger, we
need to discover its source. If there are certain things that bring on a sudden
feeling of anger and the anger is out of proportion to the situation, the anger
probably doesn’t come from the current situation, but from an unresolved past
event. Spend a little time figuring out what that event was and then allow
yourself to feel what you would say if you were back there in that past event.
So often we were not able to say what needed to be said and anger is one of the
results.
Anger can be a protecting force, keeping
danger at an arm’s length. That is why anger can make us feel secure. We might
not be secure, but we can get the feeling of secure. It can make us feel like
we have a degree of control. And yet, this type of anger can also make us feel
out of control. We feel more control with our external world, but less control
of our inner world. We hate it when the anger takes over, but we feel it is
impossible to stop it.
This kind of anger often takes control. We
end up doing things that we later regret. People get divorced over this kind of
anger. Things get said and done in this kind of anger that create injuries that
can take a lifetime to heal. Because our reactions are so rapid, stemming from
our survival reactions, that we have packed a suitcase, moved out, and moved
on, before we ever have a chance to think about our decisions with a
reflective, calm mind. We have the feeling of control, but everything is out of
our control.
Faith is out the window. Hope evaporates. We
are on our own. Anger takes us to some very difficult places.