Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Fathers


Proverbs 14:18
Have you noticed that families often have many things in common? They often speak with a similar accent, use the same phrases when describing things, even have common jokes. This makes sense since they had to have spent time together. Being similar to the rest of your family makes sense. This doesn’t mean that individuals can’t make the choice to be different, but it must be a choice.
Wisdom, or the lack of it, often runs in a family. I notice it often with addictive behavior and abuse. Families seem to pass along the dysfunctional pattern of coping with life’s stressors. Every problem gets ‘solved’ the same way, with a drink. They don’t deal with things; they just numb themselves to the painful emotions. And this pattern gets learned by the next generation.
You can’t pass along to your children what you don’t possess yourself. If you don’t exercise wisdom, then you children never get to see wisdom in action. They don’t have a model to follow. They have no example of what wisdom looks like in action. In fact, they have just the opposite. They know what folly looks like and it is familiar to them. Folly becomes the comfortable, familiar path. And so the next generation follows the previous into a life of disobedience to the LORD.
Just as foolishness runs in families, so wisdom does as well. Knowledge gets pass along from one generation to the next. It too gets modeled and becomes the familiar, comfortable path. And the benefits become evident over time. They are cumulative, increasing in depth and breadth. Knowledge pays off over time. But following the LORD is a choice. Salvation is not inherited!
It can be very difficult to end the pattern that was passed along to you by your family. Some segments of society seem almost frozen in their pattern. Only a few escape the poverty and dysfunction. Fathers are absent from the family. Poverty abounds as a result. Single parents get overwhelmed with the responsibilities and despite their best efforts the children follow their example. What a difference could be made if the pattern were broken.
Imagine if the fathers married the mothers and stayed involved in the family, two incomes instead of one, children getting to see what hard work and dedication could accomplish. This would not magically solve all the problems, but it could set a new pattern. Kids would know what loving fathers and husbands are like. They would know what responsibility looks like in the face of difficulties. Knowledge would be passed along, instead of having to be gained new with each generation.