Friday, August 16, 2013

Laughing at a Funeral


Proverbs 14:13
The expression of one emotion does not mean that other, even seemingly contradictory emotion, does not exist. Our emotions are very transient. They can change in a moment. But a change from one emotion to another does not mean that there is a permanent shift away from the first to the second. Emotion can be like the waves on a beach, ever shifting and retreating.
I see this shifting most frequently at a funeral and the moments around the funeral. Those who knew the person who died will laugh as they remember some funny incident from their life. To an outsider laughter and grief don’t seem to go hand in hand. And yet, they do seem to go together.
When I was very young I remember my maternal grandmother making lollipops from scratch. She had the metal molds that were carefully washed, oiled and put together with rubber bands. Then all the ingredients were carefully measure and combined. Anticipation began to fill the air.
The pan of ingredients would be placed on the stove and carefully monitored for temperature and time. The thermometer was always right at hand. The temperature had to be just right or the pops would not be hard.
I remember staring into the post and watching the bubbles rise to the surface, create a bubble and then slowly pop. I couldn’t predict the size of the bubble or the exact moment of it breaking. And this part of the process meant that the ingredients were ready for pouring into the molds.
The unpredictable nature of the bubbles reminds me of emotions. They seem to rise to the surface driven by an unseen force. There is no controlling them. The size is unpredictable and the moment of expression is sudden. We can see that they are coming, but we don’t always know when they will be expressed and exactly what will be expressed.
So next time you see emotion rising be ready for joy and sorrow. They are often present at the same time in our lives.