Proverbs 14:9
One of the tasks of parenting is to teach
our kids to take responsibility for their actions. This seems to be something
so fundamental that I almost feel like not discussing it, except that there are
so many parents who do fail at this simple task. There seems to be an ever
increasing segment of the population that wants to point everywhere else when
things go wrong.
But in order for a society to function well,
individuals must learn to accept the responsibility of being a fellow human
being. We are responsible for our actions, and each of us must take on our
share of that responsibility. We owe it to the rest of the community. We owe it
to ourselves.
But before we can pass the lesson on to our
children we must model this in our own lives. Responsibility is more caught
than taught. When our children see us accepting our missteps, and then making
it right, they see humility in us and they then know what responsibility looks like.
The process of making amends can be painful,
both for the person making amends and for the person or people receiving the
amends. It can be very uncomfortable, even scary to own our errors. We never
know exactly what the reaction will be to our actions. We don’t know if our
contrition will be accepted, or whether we will get all the pent up anger
coming our direction.
Notice our proverb says that fools make fun
of this process while wise people accept these gestures at face value. Out of
their humility the wise have made amends that grew for their actions, they know
how hard it is to do. So when someone comes to them and tries to make it right,
they accept the effort and the relationship is repaired. Bridges are built.
People can look at each other and not feel shame.
The fool thinks, “Why should I bring it up?
It will just cause more pain and discomfort. I am sorry for what I did, so I
don’t have to go and make things messy.” But there are two sides to this equation.
The fool needs to truly experience humility (not humiliation) and the offended
person needs to experience the process of giving forgiveness.
Making amends for sin makes everyone more
like Jesus.