Hard Heart

Mark 4:15

      Have you ever met anyone who seems really cold and distant, untouched by emotions, both positive and negative emotions? They seem to float through social situation without ever really being touched by other’s stories and experiences.

      They might be the kind of person who never takes any risks. They live life on the “safe side.” They have “learned that lesson” and won’t be like that again. They like things to feel comfortable, so they don’t do things outside their comfort zone.

      In this parable of the soils, Jesus points out that the condition of the soil determines the growth of the seed. Today we look at what happens when God’s Word is heard by someone whose heart is hard. This is the person represented by the path, verses 4 & 15. The characteristic of this soil is that is has been compacted by walking. Life has impacted it in a way that seed can’t penetrate. But even more important the seed remains on the outside and is visible. Unlike the rocky soil, the seed can’t be hidden. The seed becomes easy pickings for the birds.

      As I am writing this, I am watching a very small bird attack and eat a small lizard. The lizard is now out in the open with no place to hide. The bird just keeps jumping around and attacking from behind. The lizard doesn’t stand a chance. Even with his mouth wide open, his neck puffed out with its bright colors, the bird just keeps spinning around to his blind side and eating pieces of him.

      The path has received no preparation for reception of the seed. It wasn’t tilled or plowed. There has been no effort to break up the hardness. It takes effort to break through someone’s hard heart. But unlike soil, it often takes hardship and kindness to work through that hardness. Often bitterness and anger take over

      People with hard hearts are often passive in their spiritual growth. If something comes their direction, and is easy, they will accept it. If it isn’t on the path, in their immediate vicinity, they won’t put forth the effort. They are often shortsighted in life’s pursuits. They are like Lot’s sons-in-law who though Lot was joking when he told them to leave because judgment was coming.

      People with hard hearts are often oblivious to the reality of God working right under their noses. They just can’t see God’s reality. They could bump into God on the street and never know it. They are out of touch with what others are going through because all they see is their limited world.

      Hearts like this take careful plowing, fertilization, repeated turning over in order to get through the hard layers. Often very difficult things will happen in their lives, and in those moments, they need to reach out, which is the opposite of their usual pattern. They have to admit their hardness and allow the Spirit to soften them. Often the Spirit uses us, the kindness of others, to help prepare them for the seed, God’s Word.

      If that doesn’t happen, Satan will surely take the seed away. It is easy pickings. It is as though the Word was never even present. The seed leaves no mark on the path.

Reactions

Proverbs 17:25

       Every parent has days when they wish their children were grown, off to college and out of the house. Parenting is a very tiring profession. It demands more of you than any other job. The hours are longer and the pay isn’t worth talking about. You never get sick days, and paid vacations just don’t happen. There is no job description, the tasks central to the success of the job keep changing unexpectedly, and they have found all your ‘buttons’ to push. It is tough being a parent.

      Being a kid isn’t easy either. Every new task is a challenge to master. You have to constantly learn new, challenging things. Expectations keep changing as time passes. Just when you think you’ve figured it out, things change. You are often overlooked when your parents are talking. You feel like a third wheel, unimportant. And when other kids come along, you get pushed out of your spot.

      It really is a miracle that we do as well as we do surviving the formative years. So many things can go wrong. Things that happen shape us for a lifetime. The small impressions, the lessons learned about ourselves and others, set in motion our adult relationships. They shape what we believe about how relationships work, even our relationship with the LORD. The pattern set often becomes the pattern kept.

      Our proverb tells us that the actions of children cause a reaction in the parents. It highlights the negative side of this connection. Parenting can be painful. I am not just talking about the long hours and the lack of sleep that so often accompanies the early years. I am talking about the struggles for position in the family and control. If the parents don’t stay in control, moving the family ship along on the chosen course, the children will take the reins and run it aground. They need the parents to be in charge, at the helm.

      When kids are in charge, pain follows. We have the responsibility to help our children learn how to deal with boredom and inactivity. Life is filled with moments of nothing. If we teach them to fill every moment with Gameboy or DVD, then they never learn how to deal with silence and stillness, two essential tasks of adulthood. We will turn them into busy-addicts, never able to slow down and nurture relationship. They will end up alone, even in the crowd of life.

      Notice that parents have different reactions to the same foolish son, to one grief and to the other bitterness. This is a reality and can drive a wedge between parents, neither able to understand the other’s reaction. I don’t think men always have grief and women bitterness, but that each can have a different reaction. I also think daughters can do the same thing to parents.