Speaking

Psalm 15:1-5

          Has what you said ever gotten you in trouble? Welcome to the human race! Unless you never say anything, either with body language or with the tone of your grunts, you will make mistakes in your communication. Wars have been started over words. Drawing a picture can get you killed. What you say in a BLOG can get your arrested. Can you wait a minute, there is someone pounding on my door.

          The focus of today’s text is verses two and three. We discovered that the qualification for entering the LORD’s presence is perfection, that none of us is qualified to enter. This is the overarching answer to David’s question of who will get to heaven. But then David lets us know that what we do matters. It is not simply what we have in our minds, our thoughts and intentions, but what we do with the rest of our body that make the difference.

          So David starts with the most rebellious part of our body, the tongue. There are four statements about what we say in these two verses, twice as many as the other examples of righteous and blameless living. Twice as many statements, twice as important. Or maybe twice as difficult to master.

          The first gets many people in trouble. We are to speak the truth from the heart. Some people take this to mean that we are brutally honest, with the emphasis on brutal. They say what they perceive as the truth with such directness that it injures those who are on the receiving end. That is not what this is talking about. When truth is spoken it must take into account the hearer. Truth must be spoken from the deepest part of who we are to the deepest part of who they are. If we speak it in such a way that it never reaches their heart, it wasn’t spoken from our heart. If we really want them to receive what we have to say, it must come from our heart. We might say it isn’t coming from their head. Speaking truth takes into account the hearer’s capacity to hear our message.

          The other side of this line of our text is that we are to be speaking truth, not our truth, but His truth. Not truth as we see it from our perspective. We need to make sure what we speak to another person’s heart is the truth. But often we shade the truth in a way that we benefit from its application. But truth is an equal opportunity offender. Truth steps on everyone’s toes.

          This ties into the next line dealing with slander, the use of our words to color someone else as the bad person. Remember, ninety percent of what we communicate is not what we say with our words. It is our body language and the tone of our voice that carry the lion’s share of communication. Our words can say that we trust the neighbor, but the roll of our eyes sends a stronger message of mistrust. You can say “trust him” as a question, a command, a sarcastic snipe, or a reassuring encouragement.

          The next two lines of verse three expand slander toward other people. Slander can end up doing harm to other people. When we don’t speak the truth from the heart we end up hurting others. It can be as destructive as if you stabbed them with a knife or hacked into their bank account and stole their money. What gets said in the press can ruin a business or a family.

          You see, we are responsible for not just what we say and how we say it, but also to some extend how it is received. We have a responsibility to know the hearer and their heart condition, and speak the truth to them in the best possible way so that they are able to hear the truth. And in the process we have the responsibility to protect others from what other people might hear about them as the truth is spoken. We don’t want our telling to injure them.

          Speaking the truth can be difficult, but we must learn to do it. But we need help. We must do this perfectly. We must be blameless. Lord, help us!

Honeycomb

Proverbs 16:24

      Some people you just like to be around. Have you noticed that? They speak and their words are soothing, healing even. You want to just spend time with them, listening, talking, absorbing.

      And then there are people whose words are like chalkboard fingernails. Every word they speak seems to cut to the core. You can’t wait to get away. If they are your boss, you have your resume’ all ready to send at a moment’s notice.

      For me, when someone is always negative, always degrading others, always making excuses, I can’t wait to leave. When I know they are lying, I tune out. When they lie habitually, forget it. “If you like your _____, you can keep it.” Get me out of earshot.

      Our proverb tells us that speech that is filled with grace is the kind of speech we all desire, all need, all want. No judgments, just pouring out what we have received into another human being. I want to be that kind of person. I want my conversation to be filled with grace. I am beginning to understand the depths the LORD had to go to rescue me, so I want to return the favor and be willing to extend grace to the ends of the earth, or even across the street.

      I love honeycomb. God sure knew what He was doing when He designed honeybees. Dripping sweetness. The way it hangs off a spoon. And then it hits your tongue, wow. That is the way grace-filled words touch us. They reach to the deepest part of us and bring healing. They soothe.

      Too many times in my life my words have not been like this. How about you?

Put the Brakes On

Proverbs 13:2-3

The words we say have a great impact on our lives and the lives of those around us. One word from the Fed Chair makes the stock market rise and fall. One word from a dad to a daughter can bring tears. One word from a teacher can break a child’s confidence for a lifetime. What we say makes a difference.

Two truths jump out at me from this pair of proverbs. The first is that violence starts with words. If our words bring good things, and violence results from an appetite, I see a lack of words on the side of violence. Anger that isn’t given a proper voice ends up in violence. Anger that isn’t expressed and validated creates a need to be heard.

We have to remember that anger is a God-given emotion. It is there to protect against injustice and violations of safety and security. There is a proper place for anger. When anger is not expressed it builds and leaks out in unexpected ways, often out of the conscious control of the person who is angry.

The second truth is that the words we speak need to be under our conscious control. It is not good to just let every impulse result in immediate words. We should filter what we say through our mind and spirit. If we lack this filter, we will end up saying things we regret.

This so often happens inside a family. We let our guard down. We feel we can spill on our family without as many negative consequences. If we “lost it” at work we would get fired. But our spouse and children won’t fire us. The fallout from a rash word doesn’t cost us much more than an “I’m sorry.”

If we don’t get a handle on the words we speak, both in saying what we need to say, and in controlling when and how we say it, we will suffer the consequences. We need to learn to guard what we say. We need a break pedal for our mouth. There is a place and time when things need to be said and heard.

There is no redo button for our mouths. Once the words are spoken they cannot be recalled.

Day 190

Restraining the unbridled tongue 

James 3

Key Verses: 1, 8, 10, 16

Teachers, whether they are public school teachers or Bible teachers, have an awesome responsibility. James writes specifically about Bible teachers, saying that they will be judged for their teaching activities. Because we deal with eternity, we must be very careful what and how we teach. Our lives need to match our message to an even greater degree because other people are watching and modeling us. Teachers have an increased portion of the responsibility that we all carry. We are all responsible for what we say.

I am amazed at all the people who go to fitness centers and yet our society is getting more obese every day. Our advertising displays an anorexic image of who we think we want to be, and all the while we can’t control what we eat. And that lack of control is nothing compared to our inability to speak consistently in a way that honors the Lord. We snap at our spouse and kids. We demand and let our emotions run wild. It is easier to tame the wildfires in the West than our tongues.

James’ challenge to us is this: it is not possible to praise God with a mouth that is out of control! Our praise is contaminated by the words spoken at other times that reflect poorly on God’s character and our own. We need to let Christ have control of our tongue as well as our feet and hands. We must learn to control what we speak. The words we speak and the attitude conveyed mold generations to come.

When a leader has something other than the exaltation of Christ in their heart, the direction of their lives and the lives of those who follow them get off course. When we are in it for ourselves, God is not at work in what we do. He might use us, but it will be in spite of us. We will be vessels, but not ones of honor.

We are teachers to our children. We own them good lessons, both with our words and with our lives.

Today, monitor what and how you say things. Try to take an honest listen to your speech. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to light what you have hidden from your own ears and heart. Then, take the time to reflect and repent. Then seek His strength to make the needed changes. Self must die so that Christ can live.