Proverbs 13:2-3
The words we say have a great impact on our
lives and the lives of those around us. One word from the Fed Chair makes the
stock market rise and fall. One word from a dad to a daughter can bring tears.
One word from a teacher can break a child’s confidence for a lifetime. What we
say makes a difference.
Two truths jump out at me from this pair of
proverbs. The first is that violence starts with words. If our words bring good
things, and violence results from an appetite, I see a lack of words on the
side of violence. Anger that isn’t given a proper voice ends up in violence.
Anger that isn’t expressed and validated creates a need to be heard.
We have to remember that anger is a
God-given emotion. It is there to protect against injustice and violations of
safety and security. There is a proper place for anger. When anger is not
expressed it builds and leaks out in unexpected ways, often out of the
conscious control of the person who is angry.
The second truth is that the words we speak
need to be under our conscious control. It is not good to just let every
impulse result in immediate words. We should filter what we say through our
mind and spirit. If we lack this filter, we will end up saying things we
regret.
This so often happens inside a family. We
let our guard down. We feel we can spill on our family without as many negative
consequences. If we “lost it” at work we would get fired. But our spouse and
children won’t fire us. The fallout from a rash word doesn’t cost us much more
than an “I’m sorry.”
If we don’t get a handle on the words we
speak, both in saying what we need to say, and in controlling when and how we say
it, we will suffer the consequences. We need to learn to guard what we say. We
need a break pedal for our mouth. There is a place and time when things need to
be said and heard.
There is no redo button for our mouths. Once
the words are spoken they cannot be recalled.